Dream, Secrets revealed – II

The story continues from @ Dream, Secrets revealed – I (Click)

She had come down, I wasn't ready yet. We talked about what not all... from a random friend who got his hair dyed blue, to she suggesting I get mine dyed blonde (I know, absurd!), her future plans, her sister's and brother's respective career plans.
It just kept on delaying and she kept asking, "Where is your cab? My folks are waiting."
I finally made up mind. We were standing under a short tree, on a dim lit street just outside the gates to her colony. Okay, perfect romantic spot! (sic) I had to do it, now.                            

Me: Listen, I need to tell you something.

She(smiled): Yeah, go ahead?

Me(deep breath): I have been trying to say this since a long while, I think I have feelings for you...
(I felt slapping myself, after being so sure, all that came out was "I think" and "like", when I was "very sure" that, "I Loved Her." To be honest, I was a nervous wreck at that moment.)

She was looking into my eyes. She smiled, I felt relieved. After so many years, I finally had it off my chest.
She looked away in the distance, still smiling. "I think I knew, that was coming.."

She turned her face towards me again.
I was totally perplexed. So many questions cropping up. I wanted to bombard her with questions. Yet, only one of them came out.

Me: You expected it?

And then typical Bollywood style, CLIMAX.
Enter: Heroine's Mommy, at the most important juncture of the movie.


Mommy Ji: "It has been so long since you left to see him off beta... I was looking for you, everyone at home is waiting for dinner." 

Then she turned towards me. I was still perplexed by her reply and lost in my thoughts, to realize that both mother and daughter were staring at me. Her mum-> serious, she-> obviously amused.


I managed to shove out a few words from my mouth, "Oh, I'm sorry aunty. The cab didn't turn up. You guys carry on. I'll catch an Auto-rickshaw. Good night!"

Both waved their hands to say Goodbye.


And I ran for dear life. For the one kilometer that, I jogged, I didn't look for an auto. My thoughts were focused, on trying to digest what had just occurred. Did her mom hear anything? Was that smile and reply that she gave, a positive sign? I still had so much to say, but it was unlikely that she would meet me before leaving the city.
I texted her, to give me a chance to complete what I had to say and then decide. She gave her affirmation, with an "okay."
(I know a very long post, but hold on, now that you have come this far. Just a little left!)
I then went for a night stay to a friend's place, he had a mini booze party on. I felt relieved like I never had, in so many months. Like all the crazy parties from the past, we got fixated on the just out, hit number "Baby Doll" watching Sunny on the TV screen, copying her moves, laughing our hearts out. Playing pranks. It seems one of my friend's friend recorded us dancing on his phone, I'm yet to get my hands on it. That night, I had my last peaceful sleep, something I would be deprived for months.

After two weeks and some measured prodding, it was not working out. We couldn't fix a common time to speak.
Finally I thought, I had to do something. I recorded what I had felt, how this all had come to happen and asked her to give me a chance. Turned out I had recorded 8 minutes worth of an audio clip. Oh well, I sent it to her.
After listening to it, she called me that night and started off with , "the picture you just sent, of the dish that you cooked for dinner, looks sumptuous."

(I can't put everything she said here. So, keeping it short.)

She: " that was one long clip you had sent to me. I've known you for so long. You have been one of my closest friends since a long time... I never thought... You know.. You know, I've been thinking about this for two weeks now. About what you said and how to respond to it.... " (She paused) " So, I spoke to the guy I am seeing right now. And I think it can't happen. It will never happen. I don't want you to be on the hook. So, are we still friends?"

So, sometime in between Mini-me was out of the scene and some Champak was the newest entrant in the movie. (all names mentioned are fictional !) And in my mind, I was like this picture right here.. "Nooooooooooo..." But, nobody could hear my mind.
It was a blow I had never expected. How many villains do I have to face in one Love story? Even Bollywood heroes don't have to deal with so many. A few weeks back, I had asked a common friend (same one who gave me the pep talk before I had confessed, two weeks back) to find out from her, if she was seeing someone, currently. So that, I don't end up in an awkward situation. She had denied any relationship to this friend. This either meant that she had lied to that friend or she was lying to me.
It kept ringing in my mind, ** Why did she have to lie? I would have avoided this.** Everything seemed to have come to a crashing halt.
I felt no anger, no sadness, no feelings at all. I was in a state of shock. Numb would be the word. ** How could life do this to me? **
It was between me and her.. Why did she drag Champak into it?  But, I had to hold on to myself. At least, till I was on a call with her.. I didn't want her to be hurt by my reaction.

Me: " Of course we are good friends. That relation predates this love for you and it will always stay. I guess, I missed the ever elusive Ted's * Window * again, when you were single. My bad. "
I feigned a chuckle.
" You know, right now I have mixed feelings.. It's something like, watching your Mother-inlaw drive off the cliff........ On your brand new FERRARI !!! "

She started laughing.. I cracked some more wise-arsed jokes, to make her feel better.
While I was myself, burning to ashes from within.
I told her about how I had made plans to come and surprise her on her birthday and how I wanted to propose to her there, but now I had to cancel the tickets. She was surprised when I revealed my elaborate plans and I still wonder what would've happened if, I had really executed the plan without this 'asking out business'.
She told me, her sister knew about my feelings and used to tease her about it, frequently. However, what she didn't know was, I had given many such deliberate, obvious clues not just to her sister, but to her too, since many months. Did it never occur to her? Did she deliberately play along? But, as ever I took her word for it. She could never do any wrong, is what my heart said.
And as if to rub some fresh salt on my wounds, she said, " We shouldn't speak anymore. At least for a while, you know....."

Me: "Will that fix things? Can you promise me that things will be back to what they were? That even if in the future, I unintentionally say or joke about something, you will not misunderstand that?"

She: "I can't say. It might never be the same"

Me: "Good bye, till I don't know when. Good Night... "

She: "Good Night.."

I disconnected the call.
I wanted to cry. But tears, they never came out. There was just pain. After that night I couldn't sleep peacefully for a very long time. She kept coming in my thoughts every morning and in my dreams every night. The most painful part was accepting all of this.
I had come to this city, taken up this job, the job which I had always loathed so that, I could earn enough to be with her. A software engineer... For this day?
I had to quit this job, I could do it no longer, because I took it up for her. I had to go for something else, something that I would love to do. For a greater cause. For myself...
I quit my job, shortly and left all social interaction in pursuance of what I wanted to achieve.

But destiny had something else in mind. She called, one fine night after months of Zero contact. I usually kept my phone off all day to avoid speaking to anyone. Only switched it on for 5 minutes each night, to see if someone left a text or if there was a missed call alert.
One such evening, I was down with fever and in the drowsiness caused by the medication, I left the phone on and fell fast asleep. In that sedated sleep I thought, I heard my phone buzz. But, I was too tired to get up and check.
There was a missed call notification when I checked it the subsequent morning. I tapped the screen and there it was, her name. Although I had stopped myself from trying to woo her, I had all this while remembered her each day, praying for a miracle. A sign that, could be interpreted as, it might work. If I got that, all I needed to do was put in my best effort to explain to her my perspective, albeit in a very benign, measured way.
I had got the sign, now.


                

To be continued**

The Recap part, was before the events of " A Dream within a dream, Inception? " and the rest of it was after that.

PS: She got the card after 2 months when she checked her mail box and even guessed that it was me(Okay, it was obvious that it was me.) She texted me to confirm her suspicion, "Did you send a card, choosing to stay Anonymous?"
I just joked, "Today is mother's day, why would I send you a card for that?"

She found that to be hilarious and replied, "Hahaha... LOL. No, I got a V-day card. Anonymous. It was you right?" I accepted the charges leveled by her.
We spoke for sometime and our conversations loitered to Victoria's Secret Lingerie (Okay, nothing Kinky!) and Shoplifting.
Yeah, I know, it's not just me who is crazy :P    I have company !
Just that, she only sees the many differences we have, not what we share in common...


I know one day you will realize, but I hope it's not too late for me.

The story continues @ Not just another Dream! (Click)